Today, I am just feeling blessed. Indulge me for a bit.
I have been having serious problems with my cell phone over the past few days. Like, I can receive texts and calls but can’t answer them or return them. When trying to dial a number or send a text, it takes approximately 45 minutes to go through to the person on the other end. And my phone has also become possessed. I’m certain of it. Like, it can sit on the coffee table and call someone without anyone touching it. In fact, it has done this to 6 people now. And last night it mysteriously turned off and on in the middle of the night. Multiple times. and it messed up my alarms. ( For those of you that don’t know, I have to set 3 alarms-1 hour before I need to go, half an hour before I need to go, and 20 minutes before I need to go. The 1st one brings me out of my deep sleep, the 2nd one is my warning alarm, and the third is my “Abby get your butt out of bed NOW” alarm.) It didn’t mess with my first two alarms, but it had turned the third one off. OFF. I woke up at 7:59. My class began at 8:00. I was SOOOOO frustrated. Like, SUPER frustrated. But I just laid back down, sat my alarm for 9:45 (to wake me up for chapel), and went back to bed. Lo and behold, it didn’t go off. And my body woke me up at 10:15 (chapel starts at 10:20.) So I threw on some clothes, ran to my car, and drove to chapel (YES I am one of those girls.) Luckily I made it on time. But I was in a SOUR mood the whole time in chapel. I didn’t even listen whatsoever. I was just bitter.
So I went to lunch and came back to the apartment and I just sat on the couch and prayed. I love praying. I feel SOOO connected with the Lord. I just prayed my little heart out. And I swear I heard Him say “it is well.” I could feel it in my soul. Like, He was saying “Abby, don’t let a few bad things keep you from having a good day.” So I just prayed for it some more. And when that was done, I decided to do something for myself: Do my hair, do my makeup, dress up nicely. And when I was done, I felt SO much better. Like, giving myself a little attention just turned the day around.
Later in the day, I had someone come up to me and say the words that I will probably never forget: “Abby, you radiate beauty.” Me? Radiate beauty? How kind, but so unbelievable. But unlike normally, when I am paid a compliment and I just brush it off because I don’t believe it, today, I did. And I haven’t believed that for months. The past few months have been very difficult for me because my appearance has changed in ways that have not been what I was hoping for… to say the least.
But today, thanks to the kind words of an acquaintance–someone that I rarely speak to– I have experienced that feeling that comes with confidence. Today, I am taking back what I have given over to Satan: control over my body. Things are changing. Starting today. Starting right now.
As I was driving to Walmart tonight, I began singing an old hymn that I haven’t thought of in years. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence. You will know this hymn, but please, just read the words below:
- Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.
- Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels, descending, bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.
- Perfect submission, all is at rest,
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.
That last verse is a doozy for me. I want to be lost in His love. In all aspects of my life. I want His goodness to
fill me overflow from me. I want to be able to submit EVERY avenue of my life to Him (perfect submission). I want to rest in His arms.
So… today starts a new journey. But I am not leading. 🙂 And I’m excited for the ride.